A few years ago, I experienced a panic attack and almost lost control of the car I was driving, putting myself and those driving around me in danger. This attack came on after a meeting with a leader at a former organization that left me feeling devalued, deflated, and abused. This wasn’t the first time I had been treated poorly in the role, but it would be the last. It had been two years, and my mental health was declining. It was past time for me to make a change.
And change I did. I quit, with no prospects for a new job, only prospects for a better life, and that was more than worth it. Luckily enough, I landed on my feet, but I couldn’t help but think I wasn’t the only one dealing with the effects of an unhealthy workplace. As I talked to friends and family, I realized that most of us, at one point or another, have dealt with behaviors at work that negatively impact our personal lives. Working is a part of the human experience, and most of us are OK with this setup. In some cases, we find meaning and purpose in our work and are happy to contribute. In others, we are just looking to pay the bills. No matter the reasons we work, working in unhealthy environments should not be a certainty. Workplaces can and should be safe places for people to do good work together. Every bit of research on workplace cultures is clear; poor behaviors create toxicity. Every day, poor behaviors reduce the dignity of many people, especially those traditionally unheard, unseen, and underrepresented in leadership. When left unchecked and unchanged, these behaviors turn people into casualties. But we know all of this, right? So what do we do? I am no psychologist, but I believe many of the tenets of a healthy relationship apply in marriage/partnerships, friendships, family relationships, and working relationships. Below are some areas we can all reflect upon and change in to help build better workplaces. Psychological Safety Psychological safety — the belief that one can speak up without the risk of punishment or humiliation — is critical to building healthy relationships of all kinds. Creating this safety at work is one of the primary responsibilities of leaders. Jean Marie DiGiovanna has six questions to help create psychological safety for teams:
Boundaries Simply put, boundaries are what is ok and what is not ok (Brené Brown). Everyone should be allowed to express their boundaries and have them respected. I also believe boundaries set up the right amount of closeness and distance required for all relationships to thrive. Work should not permeate our lives in an inextricable way — we all deserve some space. Questions for leaders and employees to ask themselves:
Mutual Recognition We must have our contributions valued and recognized — leader to employee, employee to employee, employee to leader. Questions for leaders and employees to ask themselves:
Accountability We need to become accountable and hold ourselves responsible for how we treat our colleagues. If we make mistakes, we own them and apologize — leader to employee, employee to employee, employee to leader. Questions for leaders and employees to ask themselves:
Clear and transparent communication: Clarity is kind. We have to talk to each other and our teams about what is going on with us as people and with our work. Not sharing or sharing incomplete information causes tension and missed opportunities to support each other. As leaders, creating clarity for teams on the work they do and why it matters is essential. As team members, asking for clarity is just as important. Questions for leaders and employees to ask themselves:
This post is more than just an examination of what we can do better and how. Hopefully, it helps make a case for why we need to do better right now.
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Nichelle ApplebyThoughts on the workplace, pay, and Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion. Archives
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